Belladonna-Scarlette

Ever have one of those days where you really wished that you had gone through with something? Ever mean to tell some one something but never get around to it? Ever have that person taken from this world before you could tell them you love them? That was my day yesterday. I found out me Grandma passed away. I haven't talked to her in 6 years because I feared that my Dad would answer the phone. She taught me many things as I grew up, she taught me how to bake bread, how to sew, how to crochet, how to plant flowers and many more things. Now she'll never get to see the young women I've grown up into and it is my fault. The feelings of regret and guilt and slowly building in me and it is starting to become unbearable. I will never see her again and I can't attend her funeral. The closest I can get is sending flowers which I don't think will be accepted by my family. My guilt may eat me alive.

I haven't writen in awhile..... So much has happened since I last wrote. I got asked out on a date and had my date back out before we even had our date (that's a lot of dates), I got myself grounded for letting my sister get drunk (never doing that again...my sister is a terible drunk), ummm....I guess not that much has happened....how sad....well I might start writing more often.

I'm finally free. I can finally let go and be at peace. I am so happy and so glad that my question didn't truly need to be answered. Coming to a silent agreement I"ve finally let go. Now there is new questions that I egerly await the answers for. My new life is finally starting. Joy floats in my making me light as air, I feel as free as a bird to soar above the clouds on sunlit wings. I can throw back my head and let out a cry of pure joy!

Do we realy know the people that we surround ourselves with? Do we know who they realy are or do we just know what they want us to know. But do we truly tell all of ourselves or do we hide as much as those around us. Who are we behind our maskes? Do we want to find out the nasty truthes people try to hide or do we shelter ourseves from them and all that they are? Can we find the truth in ourselves and others or are we just content to sit in our seltered little worlds? Think and become! Search for the truth in everything!!!